Pyotr Bystrov Tsaplya | Doing Right by Lena //// A Conversational Fragment

2004-05-05 - What is to be done?

This whole stupid project about relationships, -
Is a project on absence and the impossibility of love
I told you from the first that all of these texts and
poems are surrogates of true emotion, neurosis.
Totalitarian, eugenic, perverted,
Many-layered life-threatening psychosis.
"Where-ever there is love, words will lie".
Get it?
Leave me be forever. I want to throw you out of my head.
You nasty little leech, pin-pricking at my brain,
You bloodsucker. Die.
I seem to be insulting the paper itself,
 Forgive me.

 Elena Kovylina, February 14th 2003

Pyotr Bystrov (P.) …Lena Kovylina, my woman, doesn't make my life very comfortable at all. Zero point zero zero comfort. Nothing but discomfort. But I find it motivating to face her endless demands, her claims, the conditions that she sets. They motivate me to grow personally. I'm telling you: unlike all the other guys, who sit around at home comfortably, sleeping and eating, nobody's degraded or anything, they're all still alive, but it seems like they're all resting or hibernating, because their girlfriends let them do so. But I'm constantly chasing Lena, who is a person you will always have to catch up with. She never yields and is far more energetic than me in many ways. She's a person who has made herself what she is. Like Baron Mnchhausen, she's constantly pulling herself out of a swamp by her own hair. She's strong enough to take any risk, to win or to lose, to experiment. So our love and our relationship is actually completely different from all of the relationships or loves that my friends are involved in, some of which, in my opinion, have lowered the stakes of their experiments, deciding to take it easy.
Tsaplya (Ts.) Recently, you've been taking part in Lena's projects as an assistant and have been less focused on pursuing your own art, even though you've been quite successful by Russian standards, both as a member of the "Radek" group and as an artist in your right. Does this mean that you're willing to play a secondary role for the sake of your relationship?
 P. I can afford to play a secondary role. I've always been immensely attracted to those figures in culture who didn't realize even half of the potential they had.

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© Elena Kovylina, 2003-2008